When a parent refuses or restricts contact with your child, or proceedings before a German family court (Familiengericht) are approaching, you will want to know your rights and what to do next. Child visitation rights in Germany fall under the right of contact (Umgangsrecht), also called access in some countries. This right protects the relationship between a child and each parent, but it is not absolute. Every decision about contact is measured against the welfare of the child (Kindeswohl). Contact also overlaps with parental custody (Sorgerecht) and with the right to decide where the child lives (Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht). Because the parents’ interests often conflict, disputes in this area are common.
These disputes become harder when one parent is not German or lives outside Germany. A parent who already lives here may be dealing with a German family court or the youth welfare office (Jugendamt) for the first time. German court proceedings are conducted in German, which may not be that parent’s language. A parent abroad may be trying to keep in contact with a child who lives in Germany. In both situations, the questions go beyond those a German parent would usually ask: how the proceedings work, which court has jurisdiction, and whether an arrangement can be enforced across borders.
At Schlun & Elseven Rechtsanwälte, our family lawyers represent parents throughout these proceedings. That work ranges from negotiating an out-of-court agreement to enforcing contact in the family court. We explain the legal requirements for contact and what they mean for you, your child, and your family. We then assess your situation and set out the next steps that make sense for you.
What Does the Right of Contact Cover?
The right of contact is narrower than custody. It covers a parent’s right to spend time with the child, which is why it is often called “visitation” in everyday language. Under Section 1684(1) BGB (German Civil Code), contact is first and foremost the child’s right: the child is entitled to contact with each parent, and each parent is both entitled and obliged to maintain it. A court can withdraw contact entirely or for a long period only if contact with that parent would put the child’s welfare at risk.
Contact and custody are separate. One parent can hold sole custody while the other keeps a right of contact. The parent with custody makes the major decisions in the child’s life, such as schooling, medical treatment, and religious upbringing.
During a visit, the parent the child is staying with decides matters of day-to-day care alone, even if that parent does not have custody (Section 1687(1), sentence 4 and Section 1687a BGB). Where separated parents share custody, decisions of considerable importance for the child require the agreement of both (Section 1687(1), sentence 1 BGB). The family court can restrict the visiting parent’s authority where the child’s welfare requires it (Section 1687(2) BGB). In practice, contact works best when both parents communicate and agree on how it will take place, because agreement almost always serves the child better than conflict.
How Much Contact Is a Parent Entitled To?
German law does not set out how much time a parent with a right of contact may spend with the child. The amount of contact depends on what the parents agree, and the child’s welfare must come first. Under Section 1626(3), sentence 1 BGB, contact with both parents is presumed to be in the child’s best interests as a general rule. Under sentence 2, the same applies to other people the child has close ties with, such as grandparents or siblings, where maintaining those ties supports the child’s development.
The right of contact does not depend on whether the parents are or were married. In this respect it differs from custody, which an unmarried father does not acquire automatically. Contact is also independent of child support: a parent who does not pay maintenance keeps the right of contact, and a parent who pays maintenance cannot use that as a condition for contact.
There is no standard formula for separated parents, but the following factors usually carry the most weight:
- How far apart the parents live
- Whether the child feels at ease with both parents
- Where the child goes to school
- The parents’ working hours
- Whether either parent’s work involves frequent travel
- Whether one parent lives abroad or the family has ties to another country
Working through these points can help parents agree on an arrangement that suits their family. A common starting point is contact every other weekend and an equal split of the school holidays, although the law does not require either.
Where one parent lives in another country, an every-other-weekend pattern is often impractical. Arrangements in these cases tend to concentrate contact into longer stays during the school holidays, supported by regular phone or video calls in between. What works depends on the child’s age, the distance involved, and the cost of travel.
Supervised Contact and Contact Curators
Supervised contact (begleiteter Umgang) means that contact takes place only in the presence of a third party who has agreed to supervise it. Courts order it mainly where there are doubts about the child’s safety during visits, and it is a common order in practice. The supervisor can be an individual or an organization, such as a youth welfare service or a charitable association, in which case the organization decides who attends each visit (Section 1684(4), sentences 3 and 4 BGB).
A contact curator (Umgangspfleger) serves a different purpose: making sure contact happens at all. Under Section 1684(2) BGB, each parent must refrain from anything that harms the child’s relationship with the other parent. If a parent seriously breaches this duty, either over a long period or repeatedly, the family court can appoint a contact curator (Section 1684(3), sentence 3 BGB). The contact curator can require the parent to hand the child over for contact and can decide where the child stays for the duration of each visit. The appointment is always time-limited (Section 1684(3), sentences 4 and 5 BGB).
When Can Contact Be Restricted or Refused?
Contact can be restricted or even ruled out entirely, but one parent’s concern is not enough on its own. A parent with concerns should therefore not simply stop contact on their own. Withholding contact without a court decision can breach the duty under Section 1684(2) BGB and weaken that parent’s position in later proceedings. Under Section 1684(4), sentence 1 BGB, the family court can restrict or exclude contact to the extent necessary for the child’s welfare. A decision that restricts or excludes contact for a long period or permanently is only possible if the child’s welfare would otherwise be at risk (Section 1684(4), sentence 2 BGB). Instead of excluding contact, the court can order that it take place only with a supervisor present, which is the supervised contact described above (Section 1684(4), sentences 3 and 4 BGB).
In cases of neglect, sexual abuse, or physical abuse, the Jugendamt will generally assume that the child’s welfare is at risk. Alcohol or drug abuse by the parent can be a further warning sign. A real risk of child abduction can also lead to contact being withdrawn. Where there is a risk of abduction, the court can require the parent to hand over their passport before each visit. Families with ties to more than one country also face questions about recognizing foreign custody decisions and enforcing contact across borders. These fall under international family law and, where a child has already been taken abroad, the rules on international child abduction.
Past alcohol or drug abuse is not, in itself, a reason to withdraw contact. The court can, however, impose conditions, such as requiring the parent to seek professional help and to provide proof that they are no longer dependent.
If there are clear signs that your child’s welfare is at risk, do not wait. Our family lawyers review your case in confidence and explain which steps, in court or out of it, make sense now.
How Can Contact Rights Be Enforced?
If a parent refuses contact between the child and the other parent, or unilaterally cuts back an agreed arrangement, the other parent can apply to the family court. Before that step, it is often worth trying mediation through a family counseling service, the Jugendamt, another counseling center, or a lawyer. Parents, children, and anyone else with a right of contact are legally entitled to advice and support from the Jugendamt in arranging and exercising contact (Section 18(3) SGB VIII, Social Code Book VIII).
If the parents have an agreement that one of them is not following, the court can make it enforceable. Where there is no agreement, the court can set out a contact arrangement itself. Unless there is evidence that contact would put the child’s welfare at risk, the court will order contact to take place and prohibit the other parent from refusing it.
In short, enforcement usually follows these steps:
- Try mediation, or ask the Jugendamt for advice and support.
- Apply to the family court for a contact order, or to have an existing agreement made enforceable.
- If the order is ignored, ask the court to impose a coercive fine.
- If a fine cannot be collected or is unlikely to work, the court can order coercive detention.
Because the child’s welfare comes first, their own wishes carry more weight as they grow older. The court is required to hear the child in person and form its own impression of the child. It can depart from this only in limited cases, for example where the child is clearly unable to express their wishes (Section 159 FamFG).
If a parent keeps refusing contact despite a court order, the family court can impose a coercive fine (Ordnungsgeld) under Section 89(1) FamFG (Act on Proceedings in Family Matters). If the fine cannot be collected, or a fine is unlikely to work, the court can order coercive detention (Ordnungshaft) instead. Each fine can be up to €25,000 (Section 89(3) FamFG). The court order itself must warn the parent of these consequences (Section 89(2) FamFG), and no sanction is imposed if the parent shows they were not responsible for the breach (Section 89(4) FamFG). Repeated breaches of a court-ordered contact arrangement can also lead to a change in custody.
In our experience, parents often apply for a court order too late, or only after the other parent has refused contact several times. As a result, the proceedings become more difficult and the evidence harder to establish than necessary. At Schlun & Elseven Rechtsanwälte, our family lawyers assess your chances of enforcing contact in court if it is being refused or restricted, and develop a strategy for your case.
Which Rules Apply When Parents Live in Different Countries?
When one parent lives outside Germany, the first questions are which country’s courts can decide on contact and whether a decision made in one country will be recognized in another. Within the EU, except Denmark, these questions are governed by the Brussels IIb Regulation (Regulation (EU) 2019/1111). As a rule, the courts of the member state where the child habitually lives have jurisdiction (Article 7). A contact decision from one member state is recognized in the others without any special procedure, and it can be enforced there without a declaration of enforceability (Articles 30 and 34). If the court that made the decision also issues a certificate for it, recognition can be opposed only in very limited circumstances (Articles 43 and 47).
Where the Brussels IIb Regulation does not apply, the 1996 Hague Child Protection Convention often does. Germany and many other countries, including the United Kingdom and Denmark, are parties to it, and measures taken in one contracting state are recognized by operation of law in the others (Article 23). Where neither instrument applies, German law still recognizes most foreign decisions without a special procedure. Recognition can be refused on certain grounds, however, for example if the foreign court lacked jurisdiction from a German perspective (Sections 108 and 109 FamFG). Whether a German decision will be recognized abroad then depends on the law of the other country.
Our family lawyers assess the cross-border aspects of your case and coordinate with lawyers in other countries where needed.
How Schlun & Elseven Rechtsanwälte Helps in Contact Disputes
A contact dispute usually begins when communication between the parents has already broken down, and every week without contact matters to the child and to you. At Schlun & Elseven Rechtsanwälte, our family lawyers first review your situation and the documents you already have, such as an existing agreement, a court order, or correspondence with the Jugendamt. We then explain your options, from a negotiated arrangement to an application to the family court, and what each one involves.
Our family law team advises in English and works with parents all over the world. If you live outside Germany, we can work with you fully remotely where necessary, by phone, video, and email, so you do not need to travel to Germany to get your case started. Everything you share with us is treated in confidence.
Our cost structure is transparent. Before we take any step on your behalf, we explain what it will cost, so you can decide how to proceed with a clear view of the financial side. Have your situation reviewed by a lawyer and get a clear picture of your options.
Frequently Asked Questions About Child Contact and Visitation Rights
The law does not set a fixed age. As a child grows older and more mature, their own wishes carry more weight in the court’s decision. There is also no minimum age for being heard: the court must generally hear the child in person, unless, for example, the child is clearly unable to express their wishes (Section 159 FamFG). How much weight their wishes carry in a particular case is something a lawyer should assess.
Yes. Under Section 1685(1) BGB, grandparents and siblings have their own right of contact with the child where contact serves the child’s welfare. Other people close to the child, such as a step-parent who has lived with the child for a long time, can also have a right of contact under Section 1685(2) BGB. Our family lawyers advise on these situations as well.
The family court can restrict or exclude contact where this is necessary for the child’s welfare (Section 1684(4), sentence 1 BGB). In urgent cases, the court can make an interim order quickly, before the main proceedings are complete. Stopping contact permanently, however, is only possible if the child’s welfare would otherwise be at real risk. A lawyer should assess whether that threshold is met in your case.
The costs depend on factors including the value the court assigns to the proceedings and how extensive the dispute is. Parents who cannot afford the costs can apply for legal aid in family proceedings (Verfahrenskostenhilfe). Once we have reviewed your documents, our family lawyers give you a cost estimate for your case.
No, this is not required. In practice, mediation through the Jugendamt or a family counseling service is often a sensible first step before court proceedings. If the case does go to court, the Jugendamt will be involved anyway, because the court is generally required to hear it in proceedings concerning the child (Section 162 FamFG).
Practice Group: German Family Law
Practice Group: German Family Law
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